I have often thought of just clicking the delete button on this blog in it's forgotten and neglected state, but deleting this blog would be like trying to delete the past. It's a document of my struggles and experiments of my younger teenage years and now that I am excitingly and scarily verging on the edge of eighteen, I don't want to forget the salvation and haven that this blog was and the community and excitement that once festered in the blogging community.
I remember stumbling upon The Style Rookie when middle school Tavi would post eccentric Comme Des Garcon inspired outfits taken in her backyard from a tripod, but the last time I saw her was on the cover on our weekend paper, discussing being friends with celebrities and wearing jeans. Time passes, and I feel that blogging has lost it's buzz from when the individual and unique voices of fashion, writing and life were thriving. Blogging has become a business. Considering we live in a society where blogging is now consider a career, I sometimes feel it's no longer a place to document and explore life with others, but a gallery of models in their expensive designer on trend threads, posing in photos taken by their photographer boyfriends. I know it's a stereotype, but I know we've all come across those blogs.
There still remain remnants of the booming era, and every now and then I discover a fresh and inspiring blogger, who reminds me of the reasons I starting blogging in the first place and the community that I longed to connect with. I know the world of fashion blogging has changed, and it will never return to it days of being a place where misfit teen girls bonded over cool thrift shop finds and Christopher Kane, but I'm glad that I got to experience it.
Now, I don't yet if I want to use this blog as a document for the next stage of my life and the exciting future that lays ahead. I think for the moment I just want to live life.
Excitement is an emotion I feel I breath. It pumps through my blood with every heart beat. Everything is thrilling and exciting. The new. The unexpected.The unknown. The future.
I can't wait for my life to start and I can't stand the idea of doing nothing.
I'm on the verge of being an 'adult'. A name that sounds foreign and unfamiliar and comes with a sense of both responsibility and freedom. I'm no longer restrained to the structure of secondary education and it's at the point where I can decided what and how I want to spend my life. I know along with being an 'adult' there comes the banal attachments of work, taxes, bills and other essential things which weave its way in to the everyday, but now I feel that life is not something that I have been watching go by, but something that I can engage with and explore.
Time is the most precious gift and I don't won't to waste it. I don't want to waste time using the internet mindlessly or watching TV to fill time that I should be using. Why waste a single moment watching Simpsons re-runs, that I've seen so many times I could probably quote them, when I could be conversing with others, creating art, reading history, learning, writing, laughing and engaging with life. I'm over watching others living their lives and wishing that mine was like that. I'm not dissatisfied with my life in the least but as my Mum constantly says "life doesn't come to you, you have to go out and get it" and I'm not going to get anywhere and meet anyone if I spend all day scrolling on a computer screen in my bedroom, wanting to be like this or that.
So here I am ready to start a new day.I'm open to all the opportunities and ups and downs that lie ahead. I don't know if it was some sudden revelation or the influence of that masterpiece "Oh, The Places You'll Go!" by that philosophical genius Dr Seuss, but I'm starting my life today and I not going to let it pass!
- Celia Bow